cows are mooing and sheeps are baaing

rhododendrons

He said "Linus put that blanket down
You've slammed your door too many times"
He said "Linus put that blanket down
The world won't wait"

Boy, what you gonna do with your life?

do i have everything?
or do i have nothing?
i do have things
but i think its not enough

i want more

and its quite true
when i said i want my YOUTH back
what is YOUTH for me?
YOUTH for me is to enjoying life
(im waiting for something cruel to happen)
i can to whatever i want
with responsibility and consequences
i know some person
who are quite enjoying their lifes
as i observed
i know why and how they are enjoying their lifes
they got their own problems
but they have motives, hopes, desires, and determination
they work hard for what they want
what they do best
they get along with friends and family and their own
they are enjoying life with determination
the higher your determination
the higher your chances to succeed
i want to be like them
i want to have motives
i want to have hopes
i want to have determination
i want to enjoy my life
i walk around, discover some new stuff
i dress like young folks
i talk to (sensible) people
i refuse all the things that i hate
i will make up my own rules
i want to have many (sensible) friends
i want my freedom
i want to do new stuff
i want to read a new book
i want to be open
i want something new and more

so that is why
i want to go back to singapore
and starting all over again
yesterday, i underestimated the world
this time, im gonna try my best

i really want to go back there
and try again
where i can have motives and determination
where i know what i should do

i just want to be part of them

live my life the fullest

i am waiting for something cool/cruel to happen..

jia you!

happy birthday little prince
do you hear me? :)

blooming like mesembryanthemum
mesmerize by its life force
like a harmonica
harmony tunes dancing upon them
look at those stones
as hard as they can be
sinking as deep as they can
let me be lighter
so i can fly upon them
though its shakey
let me be lighter
so i can fly upon them
upon those mesembryanthemum
let me be lighter
let my lights shine through
shine through them

jia you!

i do have hopes
i do have desires
i do have motives
just a little bit determination
i may not succeed
i may not shine thru
i may not be the person that i want to be
i may not the a special someone
but i want to shine thru
i want to be the person that i want to be
i want to be the special someone
i want to be loved
and i want to be succeed
if i want to be succeed
then i may, succeed

-Please choose your goals and lifetime achievements-

-Loading -----------89%

"i will love myself like i love you,
will you love yourself like i love you?"

jia you!

! or ?
boonk de, boonk..
rasanya mantap tapi boonk
baunya tajam tapi boonk
harganya murah tapi boonk
inilah draft beer boongan..
katanya suka tapi boonk
katanya setia tapi boonk
katanya cinta tapi boonk
inilah cinta boongan..

puisi yg tdk matching.
.itukn dikutip dari komik shincan
gmn c?!

? or !

i saw a blind beggar
sitting there
for money money money
i saw his broken plate
2 dollars inside
evil inside me
pushed me forward
i grabbed his money and run
run run run run
hoo hoo hoo
i went to seven
i took a can of beer
but i only got 2 dollars
so i put it on the table and
run run run run
hoo hoo hoo
i saw a lover walking on the street
i dont like them
i told myself
so i splashed them
and
run run run run
hoo hoo hoo
im the real beggar~
i am the real burglar~
i am the real loser~

!! or ??

why dun you call me
why dun you call me
why dun you call me
not even a message
cruel cruel you!
i dont need your call
you can save it
but why dun you call me~
not even a message
or letter
cruel cruel you
i dont have your photos
or
maybe i kept it in my wardrobe
but i dont care
you dont have to come
but why dun you call me
not even a message
or letter
or any regards
cruel cruel you
maybe you can call me at the morning
when i eat my breakfast
i know i never eat my breakfast
except for sunday
but why dun you call me
not even a message
or letter
or regards
or telegram
cruel cruel you
you cant call me at night
i have to sleep
you know i need to sleep
i need to work
early in the morning
but why dun you call
not even a message
or letter
or regards
or telegram
or anything whatever that is
or why dun you come?
cruel cruel you

?? or !!

maybe i can create another form of poetry
where u can be absolutely random

for example

when the wind blows dry
i can pick up my laundry..

where you got two "dry"s behind

or

his nails covered with dirt
and he didnt wear any shirt

you can be absolutely random and weird here

?! or !?

what is the difference between me and you?
for me, its mama echo
for you, its yankie oscar uniform

??! or !!?

maybe i am just so weird today
maybe i am just so crazy today
maybe i am just so insane today
maybe you got a lot of question mark today
maybe ill get so many question mark some other day
maybe ill get an exclamation mark tomorrow
but for today
its never the dot
its an absolute exclamation mark and question mark and exclamation mark
i dont allow question mark exclamation mark question mark
it should be exclamation mark question mark exclamation mark
do you know what i mean??

from exclamation mark to question mark to exclamation mark
you want something
you doubt something
but you know you want it

that's it
as simple as it sounds
my life
should be !?!
thats it
no more
what are you expecting?
i said no more!
done!
fine!
done!!
okay!
stop it!
. . .
what do you want?!
enough!
i said
enough is enough!
for gods sake
are you finished?!?
i dont care
bye!


Alex :"what is wrong with her?"
Alex :" i dont know.."

i am catching midnight's blog..
i am counting the midnight's star..
i am staring at the midnight's sky
i am looking at the midnight's chances
i am waiting for a midnight's call
i am listening to the midnight's whistle
i am struggling in a midnight's mud
i am crying for my midnight's lover
i am telling a lie to a midnight's moon fairy
i told her i am okay to be alone when she shines
ill try my best
i try my best
i am trying my best
ive tried my best
they said i shouldnt try my best
you should do your best..
but am i trying my best?
have i tried my best?
will i try my best?
sometimes i say,
for all the sadness,
we are the sacrifices
we are the victims of this world..
sometimes i say,
you are unhappy because of yourself..
sometimes i say,
i am not to blame for..
sometimes i say,
its all my fault..
sometimes i say,
what you gotta do with your life?
now i say,
what am i gotta do with my life?
i am c l u e l e s s for now
but maybe i need to be c l u e l e s s..
but i hate to be c l u e l e s s..

t h e s e d a y s i j u s t w a n t t o b e a l o n e . .
i am already alone..
i am so weird..
i am so insane..
i am so abnormal..
or is it the world that is abnormal?
why am i so many questions?
maybe i dont care
maybe i do care..
maybe i need a plan
okay, maybe next thursday
i will go to the beach..
but witch doctor needs an accompany..
do you have a car?
if you read this, and if you have a car
and if you dont mind,
after reading this,
get your cellphone, and msg me and say yes..
if you dont, i will not pursue it..

England is mine
i will take what i want
she said
i will not listen and
i wont be told
we will make, up on our own rules
i am waiting for something cruel to happen

i am waiting for the fortune cookies to be true..

i am waiting for a truthful lie

i am waiting to live forever

i am waiting forever..

i am a very mature-minded teenager
i always know what is right or wrong
i dont act like teens nowadays
who spend their lifes like trash
i act a unique lifestyles
i am always thinking
i am a thinker
i am thinking of the world
the philosophy of living in this-not-so-short-but-not-so-long-life
though i am not so clever and flexible..
i am always confident
about what i want
what ill do
what i am
but just for lately
i think its wrong to be a mature-minded teenager
i dont know what is right or wrong
i act like teens nowadays
who spend their lifes like trash
i act a foolish lifestyles
i am not thinking
not a thinker anymore
i dont know what is my purpose living in a
not-so-short-but-not-so-long life
i am not clever and not flexible
i am defeated, no longer confident
about what i want
what ill do
what i am
its all wrong
thom told me its all right..
maybe chicken little goes too far..

why did i leave you behind
guess it was to high to climb..
give me a reason
why would you want me to live and die?
living a lie?
you are the answer
all that i needed to justify
justify my life
its only right
that i should go
and find myself
before i go
and ruin someone else...



Alex :"what is wrong with you?"
Me :"what is wrong with me?"

yesterday was a damn mess
you know what??
forget it..

my lifes a damn mess..
do you know why?
forget it..

i dont really love him anymore,
what is left,
is the memories that cant be swept away..
forget it..

if i cant get what i want
or what i need
the least i can get
is nothing
forget it..

you know why i ask you to "forget it"?
because i know
so forget it..

speak on my behalf
its not the busiest days that kills me the most
its not the burden i carry kills me the most
its not the damnest life i live that kills me the most
its not the unfortunate events that happen to me kills me the most
its not the price im going to pay kills me the most
its not the tears that fall that kills me the most
its not the rudest words ive ever heard that kills me the most
its not the useless comments that kills me the most
its not the "it is not going to happen even if im trying my best" that kills me the most
its not it
the things that kills me the most is

forget it..

if you know what i mean..
forget it..
its not important though..

some said nothing is forever
but i know something that is "forever"

gone is forever..

slowly drifting downwards
i dont want
death and all his friends
like the bloody sorceress
bathing in the blood tub
to gain the eternal youth
i dont want
death and all his friends
like the mighty general
ruling in the battle field
demand the soldier to die for him
begging for their loyalty
i dont want
death and all his friends
slowly drifting downwards
to hell
to die
once again, but
i dont want
death and all his friends

here comes the story
a very close friend of mine
(whose name should remain confidential)
told me that she actually realised
that something had happened to her
she isnt in love with living in the present time
but in the past time.
lingering and wandering in her past
she cant get out
she can imagine herself
in the kitchen
swallowing 23 sleeping pills
and go to bed
she will slowly close her eyes
and sleep forever
the next day
her family would not realize that she is actually
dead
than sleeping soundly
and this frightens her
she also
doesnt want
death and all his friends
she's looking too straight,
she said
she wanted to make things easier for herself
but she made it more complicated
she thought
she just have to look at what she needs
without looking whats coming for her
that is why she crashed
and fell
over and over again
but what surprised me is that
she's looking for someone to catch her when she falls
i said to her
he didnt love you
that is why
he let you go
i asked her
to pull the emergency alarm
i'd rather let her
become paranoid than
lost..
such a P.Y.T
Pretty Young Thing
Poor Young Thing

cemeteries of london
was in my dream
(but i wasnt in London
i was in my old school)
cemeteries of london
cemeteries of london
the people who were trying to reach it
get swallowed inside

who is Saint Peter?
why he would want to call my name?
why?
He doesnt even care..
He is the one who held the gun that always went off
He is the bigger fish in a little pond
but a bigger one will come
He is the one who was silent still
when i took my love down to violet hill
He is in the garden, and in my head
He is in the cemeteries of London
for my heart is not opened
He is the one who was dead
but still living in my head
He is Death and All His Friends

P.S
i never meant to be an emo
and im not emo
and this is not emo
emo pple commit suicide
they love Death and All His Friends
they are so emo..

P.S II
Saint Peter that i mentioned above
is not mentioning the Saint Peter in the new Testament
dont get me wrong..

P.S III
and
PSP

do i want these things in my life?
i feel like getting older and older
and it feels like im losing my colour soon..
i want to get it back..
i just want to be young, for once..
now, im not young enough..
for pple that always treat me like a little child
they dont know me well..
what should i say?

ive been busy since i got this new job..
i felt like i dont have time for myself..
and i dont know what i really want..
im not young enough i think..

and the King of Pop
Michael Jackson was found dead in his rented room..
(well, its been a while)
i dont think he was a bad guy like everyone said he was..
i think that great people comes with great responsibility.
when he was unable to take all of it
he started to hurt himself..
self-destruction..
he was a victim of this world..
when pple are still speaking ill of him..
i feel real bad..
he was dead, can you all just please stop doing that??
its just so useless..


why do i want something that is belong to others?
i dont..
its not me..
i dont need it..
i guess..

i dont have perfect eyesight
but i dont wear glasses or contact lens
i dont have silky hair
but i dont need a comb
i dont have tall figure
but im not wearing any heels
i dont have a slim body
but i dont control my diet..


or do i??

for all the things that i do, or i dont
is that really matter?

if i dont like it
i dont do it
or sometimes
if i dont like it
i have to do it..

i wish my life's in technicolor..
i can do whatever i like..